Relationships with superiors play an important role in the scenario of career growth and business advancement. turns out to be a difficult psychological test for many people. When a leader doesn't control himself, the problem gets worse. Not everyone can tolerate rudeness, but a decent response requires strength. What to do if your boss behaves defiantly? How to deal with rudeness and tyranny? When is it better to remain silent and what actions are suitable for emergency situations? The answers to the questions will be provided by applied psychology of business communication.

What kind of bosses are there?

Leading people is a complex art that requires a person to have a set of certain qualities: self-control, flexibility, ambition, sociability, organization... the list goes on forever. When work in a team is not going well, it is worth thinking about the competence of the boss.

Destructive managers are destroyers of office peace and order. You can’t cook porridge with them, and you can’t solve the problem. But there are always plenty of problems.

• Creepy- This is a god of the middle order. He is a small leader at the beck and call of a big boss. Today he is satisfied with your work, and tomorrow he scolds you, having received criticism from higher management.
• Dictator- won’t let you say a word against it. Doesn't accept criticism, advice, doesn't listen to wishes. He thinks he knows everything better than you. And even if you are a first-class architect, and he does not distinguish a load-bearing wall from a non-load-bearing one, his authoritarian wishes are undeniable.

• slob– his element is lack of concentration and disorganization. He forgets about important meetings, deadlines, assignments, does not control the progress of work, lashing out at his subordinates for his mistakes.
• Sadist- a tyrant who knows everything weak sides subordinates. He loves to mock. The sadist becomes firmly attached to the victim, skillfully steps on sore calluses, humiliating the person. The tyrant experiences sadistic love for his subordinates. He cultivates a sense of dependence and slavish obedience in the team, instilling a sense of fear in his subordinates.
• Actor– plays at being a competent specialist. His only goal is to maintain his image, even by humiliating his subordinates.
• Coward- afraid of competition. He is suspicious and strives to prevent the slightest danger. By humiliating his subordinates, he kills the spirit of competition in the team.
• Father-mentor, mother-director– most of the time, fatherly-type managers cope with their responsibilities professionally. Manifestations of destructive behavior arise unexpectedly, but soon pass without bringing obvious destructive consequences.

Your response to your boss depends on the reasons and forms of inappropriate behavior.

Inappropriate leadership behavior:

• increased intonation, rough speech,
• ridiculing and belittling the dignity of subordinates,
• familiar behavior
• flirting, obscene hints,
• passive derogatory gestures (humiliation in a veiled form: sarcastic remarks, ambiguous smiles, hints).

These are signs of unprofessionalism. In Russia, management literacy is poorly developed.

Positions often go to the strongest, but not to the most worthy. Assess your strengths and capabilities before you enter the fight.

The slightest mistake will be your defeat and will worsen your situation at work.

How to put an arrogant leader in his place?

• Calm. Don't get emotional. In an excited state, you are easier to manipulate. Start preparing for the conversation in advance. Take a couple of minutes, close your eyes. Breathe evenly: inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Repeat several times. Don't stress yourself out before the conversation. Stay calm, even, try not to show emotions. Calmness will moderate the boss's ardor.

• Politeness. When a manager is rude, ask him to justify the reasons for the behavior. Speak in a cold, reserved tone, politely. Show that you are well-mannered. Uncultured behavior is a sign of low intellectual development. You are above rudeness. There is no place for unprofessional communication in business ethics. Politeness and restraint are a sign of courage. Controlling your emotions means conquering your fears. Having mastered yourself, you become an uninteresting toy for a sadistic boss or an actor.

• Conversation face to face. Public attacks on superiors are fraught with unpleasant consequences. To avoid them, choose a place and time to talk to your boss alone. Try to find out what doesn't suit him about your work. Take a piece of paper, a pen and write down. If any of the above is not true, ask again. By forcing your boss to repeat a lie, you emphasize the illegality and incorrectness of his actions, awakening his conscience.

If the boss is a tyrant, during a personal conversation you can make an attempt to hurt his ego. In this case, there are 2 nuances:

• Self-doubt and natural timidity will prevent you from winning a collision. Outcome: tyranny will become harsher.
• You risk going too far. The relationship with your boss will deteriorate completely, and your workplace will be in question.

During a conversation, do not let them wipe their feet on themselves, show your inner core and confidence. Don't give in to provocations. If during a conversation your boss attacks you and engages you in an altercation, imagine yourself under the protection of a glass dome. You are inside, and the boss is outside. His rough and aggressive attacks are reflected from the glass surface without touching you. While you are fantasizing, the boss will cool down. Start speaking when the boss has let off steam and finished his tirade. Don’t interrupt or try to outshout your boss, as you will make the situation worse.

• Ignoring. Suitable for interaction with bosses who show aggression inconsistently: a creep, a slob, a mother-director. In their case, negative attacks have a specific reason. Bosses are people too and they have their weaknesses. The feeling of increased responsibility, almost paternal love for the team, forces the father-boss to go beyond business communication. The slob is aggressive in the event of major failures. A creepy boss behaves inappropriately after a shake-up from senior management. It’s easier to survive such attacks by immersing yourself in work, trying not to pay attention to the raging management.

• Nonverbal techniques. With dictatorial leaders, methods of verbal influence are powerless. You can convey your dissatisfaction to an authoritarian leader using gestures, facial expressions, glances, and intonation. This method is suitable for employees who especially value their workplace. By influencing the subconscious, you will avoid direct confrontation and bypass conflict situations side.

Indirect methods of influencing a boss or supervisor

A person receives about 80% of information non-verbally! If you build a behavior model correctly, the information will be firmly entrenched in your boss on a subconscious level.

• Forget about smiling. Don't try to smooth things over by smiling at your boss during an awkward moment.

Be serious. Women, when communicating with men on a subconscious level, use a smile to achieve sympathy. In business relationships, this technique may not work.

By smiling awkwardly, you show softness and provoke an attack, especially from a sadist, dictator and actor. An emotionless facial expression cools the boss's ardor.

• Follow your gaze. Look your boss in the eye. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, keep your gaze at nose level. When you lower your eyes, you recognize the strength of the other person. On a subconscious level, he feels that you have given up and goes on an active offensive.

• Control your gestures. Lowering the head, constant nodding, nervous gestures, defensive postures and movements, and weakness. Watch your behavior:

• Don't lean back in communication with the boss;
• Don't look for additional support in the form of a table or chair when standing in front of the boss;
• Don't isolate yourself away from him with crossed arms and legs;
• Stop blowing away non-existent specks of dust and remove imaginary specks from clothes;
• Take your hands off your face and lift up your eyes;
• Express agreement with a discreet single nod;
• Formulate your phrases precisely and answer questions.

• Don't hesitate trying to avoid answering. By hiding behind vague phrases, you are admitting insecurity and weakness.
• Work on your clothes. Business style in clothing is a symbol of distance. A formal dress code sets subconscious boundaries of communication in the boss’s head. It's not for nothing that large companies employees are required to comply with mandatory appearance requirements, the main one of which is business attire.
• Don't pay attention to jokes and provocations. Failure to respond as expected will disrupt your boss’s plans. Move on to discussing work issues without noticing sarcasm and inappropriate jokes. This technique does not work with tyrant leaders. Silence for them is a sign of weakness and fear, which affects sadists like a red rag on a bull.

Coping with habitual nonverbal reactions is difficult, but necessary if you want to show your boss his place.

When choosing a method of response, be guided by your own strengths and the character of your boss. The more individual factors you take into account, the more effective your behavior will be.

What can't you do?

• Tolerate public insults in silence. This way you risk losing the respect of not only your boss, but also your colleagues.
• Respond with rudeness. Rudeness breeds new aggression. Don't stoop to the level of a boor, respect your dignity.
• Criticize the boss. No boss likes criticism. If your boss is a dictator, you risk deepening the conflict. By judging your boss in a fit of anger, you provoke a negative outburst on you. A single aggressive attack will turn into persistent hostility on the part of the manager.
• Humbly ask for forgiveness and take the blame upon yourself. This way you humiliate your own dignity and give the tyrant a free hand. You will be held responsible for all incidents in the office. This behavior is especially dangerous with a sadist and slob. If respect in the team does not play a big role for you or the dialogue with the boss takes place in private, you can take the blame for communicating with a dictator or a coward. Aggressive attacks will stop.

Forewarned is forearmed!

Conflicts with superiors are easier to prevent than to deal with their consequences.

• Achieve a balance of interests. often arise from misunderstandings. The boss does not try to explain his position and desires to his subordinates, and the employees tolerate and silently carry out the manager’s vague tasks. Result: dissatisfaction on both sides. Look for benefits for yourself and for your superiors. Find the optimal balance of interests.

• Understand the boss. Take a closer look at the boss. By studying his habits, requirements, character traits, you will be able to avoid controversial situations and conflicts. Knowing the hidden reasons behind inappropriate behavior gives you a secret weapon in the fight against your boss's misconduct.
• Establish dialogue. People open up in communication. Through dialogue, you can convey to a person not only verbal information, but also your internal state. Surely you have seen employees who are able to calm their father-boss in anger or influence the boss - a slob. It's all about the right approach to communication, and every boss has weaknesses.
• Confidence from the first days. When you get a job new job, . Sadists and actors avoid confrontations with such people. Excessive confidence can unnerve a boss - a coward or a dictator. It's up to your leader how much you can raise the bar for your fearlessness.

You can find a balance in your relationship with any boss. Be more attentive and do not be afraid of leadership.

The question of how to set up a boss to get fired is of interest to many employees, towards whom the new, and possibly the old, manager is biased. How to get rid of your bosses?

Effective ways to frame your boss

In order to decide to frame your boss, you must have at least intelligence and intelligence and, on the contrary, not have a drop of conscience and humanity. In addition, it is necessary to remember that you cannot do without devoted associates. If the boss is not happy with only one employee, most likely, all attempts to annoy him will remain fruitless. It’s another matter when most of the team is dissatisfied with the management.

Data correction and information leakage

It is possible to annoy management by replacing some data in the project or completely deleting important files. To do this, you need to get passwords from your work computer, possibly email passwords. This is not difficult to do if you gain trust by constantly trying to help. Another option is to hire a good programmer to join your team.

After the necessary data is in the hands of the fighters for justice, it is necessary to act - immediately before the project is submitted by the department, you need to correct some data in the boss’s computer. In this case, you should take care to save the correct copy of the document.

When higher management notices errors, it will be possible to provide him with the correct version, citing the fact that this particular project was handed over to the boss, and he corrected the information himself, without consulting anyone.

In addition to the option with errors, you can “leak” information to competitors from your boss’s computer. It is important that at the time of data transfer the boss is somewhere in the organization, so he cannot make excuses.

Show that there are better workers

This option is also possible if you have access to your boss’s computer. At the next meeting regarding a specific project, you should simply show what subordinate employees are capable of.

To do this, you need to provide developments that will be a level higher in quality than the data provided by the boss. Naturally, this method will only work if the workers subordinate to the boss are actually smarter than their bosses.

Interesting! If the project manager himself does not really understand all the specifics of the work, but only uses the intelligence of his employees, you can set him up by providing a plan with gross violations that he will miss.

Make your boss an alcoholic

This option is suitable for those who are completely tired of the manager’s attacks. We need to act together. It is necessary to regularly prevent the director from arriving at his workplace on time, you can start from his place of residence. While he is late, start a rumor that he is a binge alcoholic. In the office, you can put or scatter empty bottles of alcohol as evidence of yesterday's revelry, and also hide empty containers deeper in cabinets and desk drawers.

You can discreetly add cognac or any other alcohol-containing drink into the cup from which the boss just drank coffee or tea. Sooner or later, rumors will reach higher authorities, and upon inspection, empty bottles and a coffee cup with alcohol will be found.

The secretary, if he is on the team of eliminating the bosses, can assure the inspectors that it was the boss who forced people to buy drinks with alcohol and drank them right at the workplace.

Fact! If, as a result of such deception, the manager is fired, and the falsification is subsequently revealed, he has the right to sue the conspirators and demand compensation for damages.

Provocation

Knowing about the explosive nature of the head of the organization, you can provoke him into scandals and insults. Perhaps there is no need to provoke him, what if he is in a bad mood and everyone gets caught? At the same time, you need to be alert and record these insults on a tape recorder. For the court, voice recordings are not evidence, but for general director, if he values ​​the company's reputation, that will be enough.

Directors often take advantage of their position to ask for a job for their protégé, otherwise threatening the HR department with dismissal, or they simply try to fire certain categories of workers in order to make room for a wife or sister. In this case, you can also use a voice recorder.

Eliminating an undesirable boss is not so easy, but it is possible with the proper ingenuity. If he ruins life and does not allow the team to work peacefully, one should fight arbitrariness by all fair and dishonest means.

Question for a career consultant:

Hello Tatiana. My name is Olga, I am 26 years old. I liked one of my work colleagues (he is not married, I am not married). At a corporate party, I showed attention to him, everyone saw it, just don’t think about it, everything was decent. But now it seems to me that there is gossip about me, they look at me somehow differently, especially men seem to think that we are dating, although nothing happened! The most annoying thing is that my boss, who previously valued me as a professional, began to joke, he could give me a task and say, “although I understand that you have other interests now,” and smiles! I feel like a little girl that everyone laughs at. I’ve already regretted a hundred times that I even approached MCH at that party. Please advise what to do?

QC: It's hard to make excuses for something you didn't do. And in some cases it is simply impossible, and most likely this is your case. Don’t make excuses to your colleagues either in words or with your appearance: firstly, it won’t help anyway, and secondly, it will give the exact opposite effect. As for gossip, keep this in mind for the future: men at work are just as fond of “shaking the bones” of those around them as women (sometimes even more). And they may, for their own pleasure, try to embarrass you by hinting at an affair with a colleague. Which is what your ungenerous boss is doing, simply having fun at your expense.

To discourage his love for tactless jokes, you need to do two things:

Stop smiling at him. At all. No matter what he says, you should maintain a friendly and calm expression on your face; you should not frown or show indignation at his manners. But you can’t smile, this way you will correctly cool down his ardor and, at the same time, you won’t say anything that you might regret later. You will “thaw out” only after he changes his behavior.

Ignore his jokes. Only those who are embarrassed are embarrassed, otherwise the interlocutor loses all the excitement of the game. Do not respond to his humorous remarks, react as if you simply do not hear them, and immediately move on to discussing business issues. For example, he tells you something like “You look great today! Perhaps there is a reason? (smiling slyly).” You respond to the first phrase: “Thank you, Ivan Ivanovich,” and ignore the second (after a short pause): “My report for the quarter is ready, here it is.” And say it in an absolutely friendly tone.

And one more thing: if colleagues discuss your personal life, it means you are an attractive and interesting woman. “Grey mice”, as a rule, do not cause such a stir among men in the office as you described. And attractiveness, if (your) desire, easily turns into charm, which will contribute to career growth, because it will make you noticeable among your colleagues. Look through business fashion magazines and work on your style. Then you will quickly go uphill. And it is possible that soon you will be able to joke about your boss, and not him about you.

What to hide, the boss is not always right, he is satisfied with the work done, and with life in general, and this greatly affects the psychological atmosphere of the team. When such mental manifestations of a leader as tyranny and tyranny happen from time to time, the people under his subordination begin to grumble. Not wanting to endure the autocratic antics of the boss, deciding to quit is a solution to the issue at the cost of the job you love and your family, alas, not the best option. How to put a boss in his place and at the same time keep his job worries many employees and workers, both women and men.

A look at the problem through the eyes of specialists

It just so happens that a person holding a leadership position is no longer liked initially, even if he is not as bad as his subordinates portray him to be. But the phenomenon of tyranny on the part of an official also often occurs. Such a boss is a boor, he behaves deliberately rudely with his subordinates, and without looking at their faces, he is not embarrassed by expressions.

Many psychologists were interested in the question of the disrespectful attitude of managers towards subordinates, and they carried out large-scale analytical work. By conducting some experiments, scientists could identify the reasons for this management behavior. If you identify what type a “tough” leader belongs to, you can choose the appropriate way to solve the problem favorably.

The boss who can't stand delays

Such a leader is literally bombarded with tasks, and at the same time, expects results right now, without having time to leave him. The slightest objection or justification from a subordinate will cause a storm of emotions and remarks addressed to him. These may be accusations of incompetence and sluggishness, which, one way or another, upsets the employee. In this situation, experts suggest trying to remain calm and respond adequately to your boss’s indignation. When presenting claims to them, it is recommended to ask questions on the topic and phrases confirming that everything heard was taken into account. Questions can be leading and their meaning is such that the subordinate is ready to begin completing the task, only he has a request to the boss to explain how to complete it more rationally.

A leader with inferiority complexes

Feeling on top, and at the same time humiliating and insulting others, is characteristic of deeply complex people. That employee is unlucky if his boss is one of them, since every time he tries to express his disagreement on any issue, there is a risk of angering him and falling into disgrace. However, you should not allow an oppressive boss to exalt himself at the expense of others. During such attacks from the boss, a self-respecting person has the right to declare that he does not intend to endure humiliation and is ready to leave this place of work. The intention of a valuable employee to quit may cool down the boss's impudent ardor, and this will help stop the contemptuous and boorish treatment of himself.

If there is no desire to change jobs, then how can we continue to tolerate the tyrant, even if he is the boss?

You should not be afraid of the leader, even if he is not restrained and shouts with or without reason. After all, although he is a tyrant, he is not an armed terrorist. If you demonstrate your fear to such a boss, he will skillfully begin to use it and there will be no end to his manipulations. It goes without saying that such a leader will not be able to gain respect, and boorish behavior may become more frequent.

Remaining under the leadership of such an discourteous gentleman, you will have to pull yourself together and maintain composure. There is one wonderful technique that works quite often, the main thing is to remember it and react correctly in such a situation. You can disarm your boss with the help of a deliberately polite response to rudeness, responding in this way to his rudeness, precisely in this form. Such a response to his remark will seem unexpected to him, and he may respond to the request and also lower his tone. After this, it is worth trying to approach the issue again. When, in a businesslike manner, having seized the initiative, you ask the manager to explain the situation in more detail and suggest how best to complete the task, perhaps he will respond positively to the request.

Not everyone can ignore rude statements and remarks from a leader. There are several reasons for a subordinate to explode and yell at the boss, one of them is his temperament, the second, no less compelling reason, is when he’s “boiled.” But what awaits him in the event of a breakdown is, at a minimum, wasted nerves. To avoid stress, experts recommend imagining the boorish boss in some funny way or in a comical outfit, or, finally, in underwear. But when the imagination begins to draw funny pictures, you should try not to laugh, so as not to cause the next storm of negative emotions in the boss.

Every person in life has had problems communicating with their superiors, and you are probably no exception, right? But what if he behaves inappropriately towards employees, humiliates them and clings to them for no reason?

Alas, there are very few good bosses; this is a species that is listed in the Red Book. Most likely, you are also unlucky with him if you are now reading this article. Will we really have to endure his antics for a few more years or will we still have to quit? If you like the job and the team, you should put your boss in his place. He must understand that you respect your work and are not going to be an errand boy.

How to put a tyrant boss in his place: the most effective ways

The boss is different from the boss, so you need to use different techniques. We want to present you with some effective tips that will help you and thanks to which you will completely change the attitude of management towards you.

Do not worry. Well, here again he tells you how much you need to do and why you don’t have time to do it. His voice is getting louder and he accuses you of all mortal sins, but you know that it is unrealistic to cope with such a volume of work faster. Even if you start explaining to him that you physically do not have time to complete all the assigned tasks, he is unlikely to listen. In order not to spoil your nerves, answer his questions calmly and in monosyllables. The boss will understand that he won’t be able to throw you off balance and will calm down, but you can finish what needs to be done and take your time.

Ask for an explanation. If your boss continues to escalate the situation and blame you, ask him to explain how to complete the task. If he can't answer, tell him that if he doesn't know, how can you handle it.

Express it in private. If you want to talk to your boss and say everything that has accumulated, you need to do it in private. If you start teasing him or expressing painful things to him in the presence of colleagues, he is unlikely to forgive you for it.

"Stone face. During the conversation, the boss will watch the expression on your face. When he sees you upset, he will start pestering you even more. Don't show your emotions and make sure that your face doesn't show any feelings or emotions. But how to do that? Think about something else - about how you will watch TV this evening or drink beer with friends.

Do not be rude. If your boss yells and is rude, he is an ordinary redneck, and this cannot be corrected. All that remains for you is to ignore the screams and hysterics. Do not be rude to him under any circumstances, otherwise he will feel superior and continue the scandal.

Cool him down. Of course, it’s not pleasant to listen to insults, but what can you do? You can tell him in private that you don't like him insulting you even though you don't deserve it. If he doesn’t hear you and continues to behave the same way, there is only one thing left - dismissal.

Extreme measures. But what should you do if your boss continues to pick on you day after day? Yes, it’s not very pleasant to go to such a job...You have one main trump card left - tell him that you have been offered a place in a reputable company and you want to quit. If you are a truly valuable employee, the boss is unlikely to let you go and will also raise your salary in order to keep you.

Every situation is different, and choosing how to behave with your boss is up to you. If our advice did not help, then most likely your boss is a real disaster and the only way out is to run away from him and look for a new job.

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